Feeling super sick AND breaking out... yay. Is it possible for an ex-boyfriend to give you pimples 6 months after you break up? Hmmmm... Sources say, "YES".
;)
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
02FEB2012
It's "Groundhog's Day". Huh.
So, according to The Washington Post, "Punxsutawney Phil" has (dun, dun, dun) seen his shadow today, which, for reasons unknown, indicates that we will have 6 more weeks of winter.
What the FUCK, Phil?!? If that IS your real name?!?
[Feb. 2, 2012 - Groundhog Club handler John Griffiths holds up Punxsutawney Phil, the weather-prognosticating groundhog, during the 126th celebration of Groundhog Day at Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa. Phil saw his shadow, forecasting six more weeks of winter weather.]
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Reasons why this holiday is BULL:
1.) Marmots are simply large squirrels. Literally, Family = Sciuridae.
Nobody trusts squirrels.
2.) The supposedly omnipotent "Groundhog" (Marmota monax) is also known as a "Land-Beaver", "Whistle-Pig", or, most importantly, a "Woodchuck". How can we possibly trust the word of a creature whose quantitative ability to “chuck wood” is already in question?
3.) Supposedly, if Phil sees his shadow, the whole United States gets 6 more weeks of winter. Seriously, Phil!!! Have you ever BEEN to Colorado?!? Well, F-me. We won't see the first signs of Spring until MAY. It will be -10° here for months… WTF does it matter if you see your f-ing shadow?!?
4.) Wait a minute... if you SEE your shadow, wouldn't that mean the SUN is out?!? I hate to be didactic, but wouldn't that REQUIRE an absence of clouds?!? In what way does this foreshadow a LONGER winter??? HUH?
5.) The range of Marmota monax only extends as far West as the Mississippi River. Professional WEATHERMEN can’t accurately predict the weather out here. Now, we expect a large SQUIRREL from the EAST coast to predict our weather for the next few MONTHS?!?
I rest my case, you dirty little rodent.
So, according to The Washington Post, "Punxsutawney Phil" has (dun, dun, dun) seen his shadow today, which, for reasons unknown, indicates that we will have 6 more weeks of winter.
What the FUCK, Phil?!? If that IS your real name?!?
[Feb. 2, 2012 - Groundhog Club handler John Griffiths holds up Punxsutawney Phil, the weather-prognosticating groundhog, during the 126th celebration of Groundhog Day at Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa. Phil saw his shadow, forecasting six more weeks of winter weather.]
-----
Reasons why this holiday is BULL:
1.) Marmots are simply large squirrels. Literally, Family = Sciuridae.
Nobody trusts squirrels.
2.) The supposedly omnipotent "Groundhog" (Marmota monax) is also known as a "Land-Beaver", "Whistle-Pig", or, most importantly, a "Woodchuck". How can we possibly trust the word of a creature whose quantitative ability to “chuck wood” is already in question?
3.) Supposedly, if Phil sees his shadow, the whole United States gets 6 more weeks of winter. Seriously, Phil!!! Have you ever BEEN to Colorado?!? Well, F-me. We won't see the first signs of Spring until MAY. It will be -10° here for months… WTF does it matter if you see your f-ing shadow?!?
4.) Wait a minute... if you SEE your shadow, wouldn't that mean the SUN is out?!? I hate to be didactic, but wouldn't that REQUIRE an absence of clouds?!? In what way does this foreshadow a LONGER winter??? HUH?
5.) The range of Marmota monax only extends as far West as the Mississippi River. Professional WEATHERMEN can’t accurately predict the weather out here. Now, we expect a large SQUIRREL from the EAST coast to predict our weather for the next few MONTHS?!?
I rest my case, you dirty little rodent.
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