AVMA Says Vets Make Ideal Zombie Apocalypse Traveling Companions
Sunday, March 18, 2012
18MAR2012
Hahahaha!!! I always KNEW that I'd be a handy person to have around in the event of a zombie apocalypse, but now I have PROOF! ;)
AVMA Says Vets Make Ideal Zombie Apocalypse Traveling Companions
AVMA Says Vets Make Ideal Zombie Apocalypse Traveling Companions
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
07MAR2012
To all of my family, and many, many friends... :)
"I belong with you,
You belong with me,
You're my sweet home!"
"I belong with you,
You belong with me,
You're my sweet home!"
Friday, February 3, 2012
03FEB2012
Feeling super sick AND breaking out... yay. Is it possible for an ex-boyfriend to give you pimples 6 months after you break up? Hmmmm... Sources say, "YES".
;)
;)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
02FEB2012
It's "Groundhog's Day". Huh.
So, according to The Washington Post, "Punxsutawney Phil" has (dun, dun, dun) seen his shadow today, which, for reasons unknown, indicates that we will have 6 more weeks of winter.
What the FUCK, Phil?!? If that IS your real name?!?
[Feb. 2, 2012 - Groundhog Club handler John Griffiths holds up Punxsutawney Phil, the weather-prognosticating groundhog, during the 126th celebration of Groundhog Day at Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa. Phil saw his shadow, forecasting six more weeks of winter weather.]
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Reasons why this holiday is BULL:
1.) Marmots are simply large squirrels. Literally, Family = Sciuridae.
Nobody trusts squirrels.
2.) The supposedly omnipotent "Groundhog" (Marmota monax) is also known as a "Land-Beaver", "Whistle-Pig", or, most importantly, a "Woodchuck". How can we possibly trust the word of a creature whose quantitative ability to “chuck wood” is already in question?
3.) Supposedly, if Phil sees his shadow, the whole United States gets 6 more weeks of winter. Seriously, Phil!!! Have you ever BEEN to Colorado?!? Well, F-me. We won't see the first signs of Spring until MAY. It will be -10° here for months… WTF does it matter if you see your f-ing shadow?!?
4.) Wait a minute... if you SEE your shadow, wouldn't that mean the SUN is out?!? I hate to be didactic, but wouldn't that REQUIRE an absence of clouds?!? In what way does this foreshadow a LONGER winter??? HUH?
5.) The range of Marmota monax only extends as far West as the Mississippi River. Professional WEATHERMEN can’t accurately predict the weather out here. Now, we expect a large SQUIRREL from the EAST coast to predict our weather for the next few MONTHS?!?
I rest my case, you dirty little rodent.
So, according to The Washington Post, "Punxsutawney Phil" has (dun, dun, dun) seen his shadow today, which, for reasons unknown, indicates that we will have 6 more weeks of winter.
What the FUCK, Phil?!? If that IS your real name?!?
[Feb. 2, 2012 - Groundhog Club handler John Griffiths holds up Punxsutawney Phil, the weather-prognosticating groundhog, during the 126th celebration of Groundhog Day at Gobbler's Knob in Punxsutawney, Pa. Phil saw his shadow, forecasting six more weeks of winter weather.]
-----
Reasons why this holiday is BULL:
1.) Marmots are simply large squirrels. Literally, Family = Sciuridae.
Nobody trusts squirrels.
2.) The supposedly omnipotent "Groundhog" (Marmota monax) is also known as a "Land-Beaver", "Whistle-Pig", or, most importantly, a "Woodchuck". How can we possibly trust the word of a creature whose quantitative ability to “chuck wood” is already in question?
3.) Supposedly, if Phil sees his shadow, the whole United States gets 6 more weeks of winter. Seriously, Phil!!! Have you ever BEEN to Colorado?!? Well, F-me. We won't see the first signs of Spring until MAY. It will be -10° here for months… WTF does it matter if you see your f-ing shadow?!?
4.) Wait a minute... if you SEE your shadow, wouldn't that mean the SUN is out?!? I hate to be didactic, but wouldn't that REQUIRE an absence of clouds?!? In what way does this foreshadow a LONGER winter??? HUH?
5.) The range of Marmota monax only extends as far West as the Mississippi River. Professional WEATHERMEN can’t accurately predict the weather out here. Now, we expect a large SQUIRREL from the EAST coast to predict our weather for the next few MONTHS?!?
I rest my case, you dirty little rodent.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Me 1:
"So, you wanna shoot some deer, you wanna sew up some bitches, or you wanna beat some bitches up?"
Thursday, January 19, 2012
19JAN2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Me 2:
████ ██ █ ████ everything ███ █████ is █████ ████ ████ fine ████ ███ █ ██████ trust █████ ██████ ███ your █████ ████ government.
Me 1:
For some reason, the song "American Pie" by Don Mclean keeps popping up in my head...
"The day... the internet died."
"The day... the internet died."
18JAN2011
The day "Google" and "Wikipedia" and a thousand other useful, informative sights that define the internet as we know it... GO DARK.
As Peter Griffin would say, "Holy CRAP!"
We must all band together and STOP SOPA/PIPA before it destroys life as we know it. And oddly enough, I'm not even being all that dramatic here...
As Peter Griffin would say, "Holy CRAP!"
We must all band together and STOP SOPA/PIPA before it destroys life as we know it. And oddly enough, I'm not even being all that dramatic here...
Monday, January 9, 2012
09JAN2012
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me...!!! ;)
Why is it that the only song stuck in my head today is from "Futurama"?!?
"What day is today? It's Nibbler's Birthday! What a day for a birthday... Let's all have some cake!"
Why is it that the only song stuck in my head today is from "Futurama"?!?
"What day is today? It's Nibbler's Birthday! What a day for a birthday... Let's all have some cake!"
06JAN2012
I was feeling kinda bummed out today about the whole job situation (i.e. my hours dwindling to almost NOTHING), so my neighbor, Jeff, hatched a plot to make me feel better...
What else could this plan possibly include but a trip to Barnes & Noble, a salted-caramel mocha, an apple tart, and a brand-new book? If a better cheer-up remedy exists, I certainly don't know what it is! ;)
What else could this plan possibly include but a trip to Barnes & Noble, a salted-caramel mocha, an apple tart, and a brand-new book? If a better cheer-up remedy exists, I certainly don't know what it is! ;)
01JAN2012
Why is it that every single New Year's Day, I get this song in my head?!?
Somehow, no matter WHAT is going on in my life, it always seems appropriate...
Somehow, no matter WHAT is going on in my life, it always seems appropriate...
31DEC2011
Decided to go out with my friends Joe, Matt, Travis, Garry, etc. etc... WOW. Both SUPER fun, and a bad idea... ;)
While at "The Beach House" in Fort Collins with these dudes, this CRAZY (awsome) lady came up to us and said:
"You two... (indicating Matt and I) is this the first time you've met?"
Matt and I both dissembled a bit, saying, "Well, we've met once before, at a party... We know each other's names, that is."
She said, "I sense an ENERGY here!!! You two were MEANT to be together!!!"
Matt and I looked at one another, and said, collectively, "Ummmm..." ;)
Matt and I
The CRAZY lady and her sweet husband, who kept trying to lead her away, gently...
The night ended with Garry talking to "Oscar del Grupo", (apparently?) the Spanish name for "Oscar the Grouch?!? Ai ai ai...
While at "The Beach House" in Fort Collins with these dudes, this CRAZY (awsome) lady came up to us and said:
"You two... (indicating Matt and I) is this the first time you've met?"
Matt and I both dissembled a bit, saying, "Well, we've met once before, at a party... We know each other's names, that is."
She said, "I sense an ENERGY here!!! You two were MEANT to be together!!!"
Matt and I looked at one another, and said, collectively, "Ummmm..." ;)
Matt and I
The CRAZY lady and her sweet husband, who kept trying to lead her away, gently...
The night ended with Garry talking to "Oscar del Grupo", (apparently?) the Spanish name for "Oscar the Grouch?!? Ai ai ai...
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