Just to clarify, we are SERIOUSLY JUST FRIENDS. We both happen to live in the same apartment complex, are both frusteratingly unemployed, and live right next to one another.
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In any case, he's been sending me text messages to try and make me smile:
Jeff: "Did you have fun at your appointment? If you want to go see puppies and kitties at the humane society, or want some left-over pizza, let me know..."
Jeff: "I could make dinner tonight and put on a dance show. Or you can ride Kyzer wearing my Australian hat."
Jeff: "I know of a palm reader if you want your future read."
Jeff: "Or a young male prostitute? Would that make you smile?"
Me: "LOLOL! Maybe. ;) Hehe!"
Jeff: "I have six things you can break in the parking lot of this apartment that won't harm anything and are biodegradable."
Me: "Hmmmm... what in the world are you talking about?"
Jeff: "Eggs."
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And so, Jeff and I went into the small lot behind our apartment complex, and I BUSTED SOME SHIT UP! ;) Okay, granted, it was only 6 locally-produced eggs, and I had placed a plastic garbage bag against the fence to make sure we wouldn't cause TOO much of a mess, and Jeff added one of his plastic-wrapped winter tires to further ensure that we wouldn't cause a scene, but STILL.
Me, prepared to BREAK SOME SHIT:
The ultimate result of our shenanigans:
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