Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Me 7:

If my FAMILY is right in this situation, and I am WRONG (and I am PLANNING right now to be wrong, because I really need to get away from these people right now), then I will check myself BACK into Sacred Heart Medical Center's AWESOME psychiatric facility so I can be fed awesome meals, write WHENEVER I want without fear of offending and/or upsetting someone CONSTANTLY with my constant inattention, and get a decent night's sleep under the care of a COMPETENT psychiatrist. And THAT, Mother, you are not, despite the "Merck Family Medical Handbook" tucked under your arm constantly as you speculate on why I have so many taba open in my browser. IT'S BECAUSE I'M WRITING A FLIPPIN' BLOG HERE, MOM. NOT because I have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES or some such other utter nonsense.

And so, if I am wrong, and about this I am am PLANNING to be wrong, then I check myself back into a psychiatric facility, and then LATER we can all laugh about it, over a beer that I WILL BUY YOU. :)

If I'M right, and my FAMILY is wrong, and I AM completely sane and my only problem is the completely toxic love my family is trying to shove down my throat, then ALL of THEM owe me an apology. A gigantic apology.

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