Me 2:

So, Jeff, (again) my neighbor @ the "Bryan Creek Suites", as I like to jokingly/sarcastically call my apartment complex, saw that I was a little depressed about how the WHOLE SITUATION with Ray had turned out.

The logical thing to do? Apparently, if you’re Jeff, you get a few permanent markers out of my junk drawer and draw some silly green eyebrows and a bindi mark on your poor, innocent dog, "Keyser":

Okay, fine. I’ll admit it. This did COMPLETELY distract me from the previous situation! I was doubled-up laughing, simultaneously thinking his actions were ridiculously funny, and also wondering if, as a vet student, I should try to put a stop to the situation in the name of animal cruelty.

Oops. Too late. Yahahahahaha!

"WHO IS KEYSER SÖZE?!?"



-----

Okay, I'm STILL laughing about this... so SUE me! Wait, please don't... I don't think I could POSSIBLY afford the time and/or money for a lawsuit right now.

;)

Me 1:

So now that our little Calvin had been picked up by a new father-figure, Joe and I were left to hang out for a day, and contemplate where we went wrong as parents... LOL! He was GOING to go back the same day, but I was, like, "Dude. Please don't leave me in the WRECKAGE of this lovely apartment by myself. Not until tomorrow.

Yeah. I know it's not TOTALLY apparent in these goofy pics, but Joseph is an AMAZING voice of reason. Kinda like how the Robot in “Yo Gabba Gabba” is the ONLY voice of reason in the ENTIRE show, especially when taken alongside the fact that he shares the screen with bumpy, red, gigantic dildo-like creature. Steve Symington, you out there?!? Because of YOU, I will ALWAYS think of this robot when I think of the quintessential “Voice of Reason”, you hilarious bastard! ;D

Truth 1:

So, I stood back. And let Ray "think [his] way out of the box" that he’d neatly packed himself into, complete with styrofoam peanuts and TONS of duct tape. C’mon Ray… think like Houdini! WWHD? ;)

Me: "Hey, Baby. There ain't no easy way out..."

He got our friend Jason to drive up from Winsor to pick him up and take him and his stuff back to Dacono, which is south of Greely. Jason showed up in his little hatchback coupe, complete with Mario and Luigi (his children Odin and Eddie). For some reason, Jeff had a sweet-scary "V for Vendetta" mask, and while distracting the kiddos with some more skillful manipulation of innocent minds, he convinced one of them to put on the mask while strapped into his cute little car seat:

I can’t decide: Is this hilarious or REALLY SCARY?!? Both? Heh.

Next, their Daddi-o put the mask on... Who's driving this car?!? Ahhhhhh!!! ;)

-----

Anyway, Ray had packed his things quickly and obviously angrily. I suppose he blamed ME for the fact that a few hours earlier, I had received a LETTER in the mail from Evergreen Property Management, notifying me that they were aware of the fact that I had an “unauthorized tenant” on the premises, and that he was to vacate post-haste. In a way, it was actually a FANTASTIC way to bring up the topic with Ray, and put down my “Ray-Gun” chock full of mind-bullets. ;) Unfortunately, he still didn’t seem to take the news well, but we parted on good terms. At least, I THOUGHT we did…

Ray and I before he left to go back to Dacono, where it was possible if not PROBABLE that he would return to his old routine of getting in fights, and then picking them. I know he HATES having his picture taken in his glasses, but seriously?!? C'mon, dude. Lighten up... all I'm going to do is post it on the internet. ;) Only because he made such a big deal out of it, hehe!

Undeniably, ‘twas not a happy parting, by any means, but it did get the job done. A necessary evil, if you will.

"ROCKIN' OUT" 1:

Okay, I know this is a little cliché, but right now? The song playing in my head?

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – “Won’t Back Down”



What a f-ing FANTASTIC song.

22OCT2011

So, apparently, my brand of "passive aggressiveness" is SO STRONG that I can freeze someone out solely with the power of my own BLISTERING COLD THOUGHT-WAVES. Ha HAH! Admittedly, this is a strangely cruel way to get someone to move out of your apartment… like some kind of STRANGE torture, maybe on par with Japanese water-boarding. ;) Fortunately (or not, depending on who you’re talking to), my game of “shoot-em-up” using nothing but MIND BULLETS (“Powerful enough to kill a YAK from 200 yards away!” [Thank you, Tenacious D]) only lasted for the span of about ONE DAY, afternoon to afternoon. Yikes. I had NO IDEA that I could make someone feel so unwelcome in such a short period of time. Both saddening and not? Hmmmm…

In any case, I tried to set my brain waves to “Stun” rather than “Kill”, but despite this small kindness, the situation was still that sad kind of necessary bummer. Ray kept telling my friend Joseph that he could tell I didn’t want him here, and that he HAD to leave. At one point, he randomly told Joe that he was just going to LITERALLY “run away” with the clothes on his back, which made me laugh hysterically when I heard this. Alright, alright, you guys probably think me strange (at the very least), but don’t you DARE think I was being cruel! It WAS funny, given the fact that he had, like, three gigantic sets of expensive tools, a big suitcase full of clothing and personal items, a ton of fishing equipment, and a monumental number of dirty socks stashed in various places around my apartment. It was like being a parent to a 13 year-old who had their cell-phone privileges taken away, and the child threatens to simply leave the house, forgetting all necessities such as food, water, and clothing. It reminded me again of Calvin and Hobbes: In one particular sketch, Calvin runs away with Hobbes and a backpack, and later, Hobbes is distraught to discover that the pack contains nothing except for comic books. ;)

While Ray had no idea that I was aware of his little plan, I waited to see what else would develop in that mind of his…

Me 1:

So, in light of the unexpected situation I found myself in, I thought "A Few Small Repairs" (Gaaaah… Shawn Colvin again!) were in order...

Note to self:
MUST find a way to gently but FIRMLY tell Ray that he has to leave the apartment. The time frame? Argh... My stupid conscience tells me I should allow him 2 weeks to get his schhhtuff together and begone. (Swats silly haloed, harp-playing angel off of my right shoulder and into a wall.) To be perfectly honest, I sort of NEED him to get the heck outta here MUCH sooner than that, because there’s NO WAY I can organize this place with a whisky-drinking, heavy-metal listening, aspiring career-fisherman laying on any and all available horizontal surface. Hmmm… How to proceed? ;)

I find myself drawn towards my previous “battle” stand-by: PASSIVE AGRESSIVENESS. Okay, yes. NOT a good trait, NOR a terribly effective method of confronting someone… LOL! It’s like slapping them in the face with a wet noodle cooked WAY past “al dente”. A small one. But how do you tell someone you care about that they have to get the HELL OUTTA DODGE?!?

I am seriously open to suggestions on this one, guys…

21OCT2011

Okay, I’ll admit it. I woke up this morning feeling pretty damned FOOLISH. ;) Read the following to understand WHY:

In retrospect, self, seriously. You make a good friend at a BEHAVIORAL HEALTH CENTER, but then, instead of just keeping your distance and staying good buddies, you say:
"Oh, hey, you're living with your parents and have a teensy bit of an anger management problem. Perhaps you need to come up to Fort Collins to get away from three guys who want to kill you with multiple baseball bats (I’m assuming no more than three, hopefully?). No problem, dude! I am finally putting my life back together after a gigantic CRASH (with no “insurance”, hehe), so I shall help YOU like the ones I love are helping ME! I shall pay back the love the people in my life have (somehow) shown ME, to YOU! "I LOVE YOU, Man!!!", in the style of Wayne’s World. *wink*

Despite this lapse in judgment, things were (again, SOMEHOW) going great. Ray, being a 21 YEAR-OLD BOY, naturally had absolutely NO sense of self preservation and was always finding high things to jump off of for no reason, attempting to out-drink vodka with one of our other neighbors, an old RUSSIAN guy who probably puts that shit on his CEREAL in the morning, and generally and genuinely "accidentally" doing things that could get him killed, maimed, or otherwise horribly disfigured, for NO REASON AT ALL.

BUT THEN, I would be able to step in, and say some variation of the phrase, "RAY, YOU'RE BEING STUPID AGAIN!!!" Which is a horribly antagonistic thing to say, but was nonetheless SHOCKINGLY effective. It was like being either a parent or babysitter to Calvin from the epic newspaper comic “Calvin and Hobbes”, except most of the time, I wouldn't forcibly STOP him like a “responsible adult figure” would… Instead, I’d just follow him around laughing and taking pictures. Oh yeah, and then I'd post the evidence of his innocent idiocy on the internet. And I've been trying to convince people that I'm a wonderful babysitter? Sh-chnikey. Yeah. I'm GREAT at not swearing around kids, too. ;)

So, now that you, Ray, are much more stable than you’ve ever been before, I shall leave you, a 21 year-old BOY, ALONE and UNSUPERVISED in MY apartment for almost a MONTH AND A HALF, and then trust you to work super-duper hard and pay one month’s rent for me, so that I can then pay you back when I return to Fort Collins…

Oops.

A Spooky Bedtime Story:

So, obviously, I was EXTREMELY excited to get back to Fort Collins and back to my apartment... until I got to my apartment.

Okay, granted, 3 of my FAVORITE people where there to meet me and those ridiculous people EVEN had presents for me. :) These people include my "adoptive older brother" Joseph (Haha, well, I DID "adopt" him as my brother, *laughs*), my friend Ray who I think of as my adoptive LITTLE brother, both of whom I met while we were all doing time back in "the joint" (North Range Behavioral Health, chicka chicka yeah!), and my crazy/AWESOME neighbor Jeff. To be completely honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that my neighbor Jeff might have actually BANKROLLED the operation, but this time, NO proof. Heh! So, back to the important thing... the presents!

They gave me this rad, goth-chick style "Sunshine Bear" Carebear hat!! With goofy yellow tassles and EVERYTHING! LOL!! Ahhhh... I couldn't stop laughing.

In addition, Jeff gave me two AWESOME packs of cigarettes. And you guys know me, I like everything with extra style, extra sparkly-ness, extra AWESOME. You guys WILL NOT believe this: He called them "Carebear cigarettes", which was such a fantastic idea I nearly lost it. I mean, first off, the idea of ANY Carebear, EVEN grumpy bear, smoking a cigarette... I mean...?!? The Carebears live in CLOUDS, hopefully NOT clouds of cigarette smoke. That's the best association I can draw between these two things. Until now.

Oh my GOD, LOOK at these things! Jeff said he went into a fancy tobacco store to buy them, and the guy asked him not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES if he was sure he wanted this pack. That's how absurdly feminine they are, and I have a feeling even the girliest of girls would feel MORTIFIED to buy these things. I will never know, because I will NEVER buy a pack... Yeah, not because they're embarrassing, because I think they're embarrassingly AWESOME, but because I estimate that they (probably) cost around $12.00 a pack. And I am broke. SO, you can bet your BUTT these things will be rationed! ;)

---

Anyway, it was unspeakably great to see these three boys, but then... I saw my apartment. My beloved apartment, which I managed to SOMEHOW rent for myself on around day 5 of my insomnia-induced RAMPAGE ("Terms of Enrampagement" from Archer, anyone?), was not quite how I left it... to put it as mildly as THIS "Sunshine Bear" knows how. A few key notes from its appearance when I got back late from 2 LONG DAYS ON THE ROAD:

-The place smelled like pickles. I mean, don't get me wrong, I LIKE pickles. Like, worse than pickles. Like pickles soaked in GROSS BOY B.O. Like someone had tried to make some home-made pickled garlic and rung out a bunch of sweaty basketball player's socks to make the brine. Oh, and added a bunch of beard trimmings and toenail clippings into the mix for seasoning. ((Okay, I apologize, that was really gross... but still. I stand by my description)

-There were potato chips, pretzel crumbs, pieces of pizza crusts, cheerios, and other large CHUNKS of food floating around the floor. Just waiting for you to step on them with your BARE FEET. Oh, and these weird carpet tumbleweeds that looked like cat-hairballs. Reminder: I don't have a freaking cat! Ray? Had you been licking yourself instead of taking showers? ;)

-Seriously, EVERY SINGLE DISH in the house was dirty. And stacked all over every square inch of my already inadequate counter-space. All of my BEAUTIFULLY trendy new blue and lightish black IKEA dishware had been used, and left with plastered on bran flakes and milk slime from many, many mornings, which (I assume) consisted of sugary cereal and cartoons.

-The bathroom... Oh, the bathroom. Yes, I am a girl, and can't POSSIBLY ever appreciate the full extent of the difficulties men face after being given a urethra encased within a firehose. BUT STILL. PLEASE??? Heeeeeelllllppp....! I felt like the King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table when faced with the killer white rabbit in the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail": Run away, RUN AWAY! Oh, and the tub? Can I just refer to the condition as fraught with "mystery hairs"

---

Damn it, this situation MUST have a solution... it MUST have a LOGICAL conclusion... RIGHT!?! Come on, people. Anyone?!?

Well, shit.

"ROCKIN' OUT" 3:

To Don Henley's "Boys of Summer"... Yahaaa!!!

Me 6:

I am listening to "The Ricky Gervais Guide to... Medicine" and LAUGHING LIKE AN IDIOT/MANIAC. Of which I am neither. I have PROOF... LOL! ;)

Me 5:

Me 5:

Boys keep smiling at me from their trucks. Awwww... :) Perhaps it is because my windows are rolled down and I look irritatingly cheerful.

Sent from my iPhone

Me 4:

Sorry, "The Dude", it's been a long day, and I LOVE the fuckin' Eagles. ;)

As a side note, I am feeling IRRITATINGLY cheerful. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Me 3:

TO MY "FORT COLLINS POSSE":

"I don't want a PIECE of you... I want the WHOLE THING!!!"
- Bob Barker in "Billy Madison"

;D ;D ;D

Sent from my iPhone

"ROCKIN' OUT" 2:

To my friend David Jacobs-Strain's "Neon Star"... That boy should be HONORED, because I am EXTREMELY picky about the music I listen to in my car!!! HOWEVER, DON'T tell him, or it might inflate his already over-large head. ;)

I'M a Neon Star, and I'M "coming back SO strong, you won't even KNOW IT'S ME!" *wink*

Sent from my iPhone

"ROCKIN' OUT" 1:

To "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters. One of the greatest and TRUEST songs ever written.

Yesterday, I spent my 10 hours driving time listening to all my Weezer, then all my Tom Petty, then all my Rolling Stones.

Today, I'm rocking out to ALL my Foo Fighters... They SCREAM, so YOU don't HAVE TO!

From "New Way Home":
"I'm NOT scared... I felt like THIS on my way home..."

Sent from my iPhone

On the Road Again 2:

"Phew whew!" (wolf-whistle) Check out that SCENERY!

Truth 2:

I lost an hour last night by getting into Idaho, so now I am driving FAST... to get it BACK!!!

This is what I plan to tell the cops if I get pulled over.

LOL!!! ;)

Truth 1:

Okay, this is TOO GOOD not to pull over at this "Rest Stop" and mention...

SEVERAL years ago, before me and my ex-whatever had even been dating for two years, I compiled a playlist of intelligent (mostly) female-centric songs and entitled it, "Spirituals". I THOUGHT it ended with Lisa Loeb... Which would have been appropriate... But NO.

The 4-years-ago version of myself had the foresight EVEN THEN to add ONE LAST SONG:

"Instant Pleasure" by Rufus Wainwright

LOL!!! Ahhhhh... I was a smart girl, EVEN THEN. ;) this is one of the most hilarious, SEXIEST songs evah! *wink wink nudge nudge*

Now, DON'T tell on me, 'k? Don't want my poor Ex to know I had... Impure thoughts. ;) Shhhhhhh...

Me 2:

Listening to angry white chick music!!! ;) SUCH fun.

Lisa Loeb's "Do You Sleep" + one ex-relationship gone CURDLED MILK SOUR + passing gigantic trucks on the freeway = Bender from Futurama...

"CHEESE IT!!!" (drops the loot and RUNS LIKE HELL)

;)

On the Road Again 1:

Wow. "Scenic Viewpoint", indeed. :) Me and my shadow took a pic for you guys on our way out of Twin Falls, ID.

Me 1:

I hate the world today

You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe 
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved 
To see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changin'
I think it's cool you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint
And I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell
I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch
I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt
When you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way...

Sent from my iPhone

20OCT2011

HOTEL WAFFLES!!! 'Nuff said. ;)

Bedtime Story 1:

Ahhhh... Now that my night is finished, I can finish WRITING about it. Such fun! :) This whole "Single Gal in a Cheap Hotel Room in the Middle of Nowhere" has a kind of Men Without Hats "Safety Dance" kind of flavor to it. Or is thar just the "Taco Hell" I had for dinner?!? Blech. ;)

Because it IS late, and I am typing this on my iPhone, for chrissakes, because (go figure) the internet access in my shitty hotel room is SHITTY, I'm going to take my "nighty night" seroquel and finish this tale in the MORNING before I give my index finger a gigantic fucking calous.

Everybody: Isn't it kind of backwards to tell a "Bedtime Story" in the morning???

Me: Yes. It is. That's just how I roll. Now shut up and go to sleep, ALL OF YOU! ;) Kidding.

If i weren't broke, I'd get onto the iTunes store and buy myself the audio tape of "Go The Fuck To Sleep" or whatever that thing us called, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. *sigh* Sometimes, a girl's just gotta make do.

Night night. ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Me 7:

The "Promised Land" = A $56.77 dollar-a-night "Super 8" hotel?!? Sure. Why NOT? ;)

The question I DO want answered but will probably never know the answer to is this:
WHY in God's name is there a Canadian flag rippling artfully in the breeze next to the American and State flags? I am WAY too lazy and apathetic about it to ask and find out... Maybe NO ONE knows?!?

God: I dunno... Maybe they're really into maple syrup? You know, for those suspiciously good "hotel waffles"?!? Or maybe they're REALLY into hockey and curling?
On the other hand, it could be some "South Park"-esque "Blame Canada!" thing... If your room isn't clean... Blame Canada?!? I'm out of ideas.

Me: I sure hope that wasn't blasphemous. Ai ai ai...


Sent from my iPhone

Notes from the Road 10:

Grrrr... My new posts aren't showing up properly for some reason.

Anyway, I know I need one more of these... Ima fill it in later. ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Notes from the Road 9:

Obviously, like Ben Folds in his song "Army", I've "been thinkin' a lot today. I was (not literally) ruminating on life and freedom and love etc. etc. At one point about a month and a half ago, I wanted to pull an Ewan McGregor from "Moulin Rouge" and thank my Ex for, and I quote directly, "curing me of my RIDICULOUS obsession with love."

Today, I realized: Damn. I'm totally incurable. ;) As, I suspect, many of YOU absolutely beautiful and brilliant people are, too. Some may call us "Hopeless Romantics", but that is just a buncha baloney. I think we should be rightly called, "Hopeful Romantics".

If this isn't true for any of you, lemme know and I'LL "hold on hope" for ALL OF US! :)

A few small sparks fly out my window from the cigarette I'm sensibly not allowing to stink up my crappy old car while simultaneously ensuring that they all go out and don't start a fire. Being a conscientious smoker is a nearly impossible task. ;) It's sort of like the idea of a "good nazi"...

Notes from the Road 8:

So, after telling DJS that I punched my car, we had the following short conversation via texting:

"DJS: Yes. Punch it! With love.

Me: The appropriate response? I'll punch YOU with some tough love, you complete and total bad-ass!! :)

DJS: Where are ya?

Me: Almost to Twin Falls where I'm staying for the night... :)

DJS: Nice!

Me: Bout 1/2 hr away!

DJS: How far from the plaza hotel in hartford ct. are ya? ;)

Me: LOL!!! Gawd, yer funny!!!

DJS: And sharing a room with a 60 year-old dude.
But he's pretty cool...

Me: Yahahahaha!!!

DJS: And snoring quietly

Me: You are one of the greatest PEOPLE I have ever met. I can say that even though, for some reason it suddenly smells like garbage in my car.
Ah. That's better.
Awww... How sweet. I smelled garbage and thought of you... ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Notes from the Road 7:

I texted DJS, to inform him that I had just "punched my car right in the headlight", since YES, he taught me to do that!!! Yeah, so we have, like, IDENTICAL cars, which is funnier for me than for him, since (sorry David) it's a pretty girly car. Okay, DJS, I'll go ahead and refer to it as "androgynous"... If it'll make you feel better. ;) And yes, in THIS case, kicking and/or punching the headlight IS a completely VALID form of car repair, as it makes the light go back on, some CRAZY-stupid-HOW if it happens to "wink off".

I absolutely LOVE things that actually work better when you KICK them!!! WTF?!? Why should that EVER work?!? It reminds me of a "Cowboy Bebop" episode where the main characters sneak into an old museum to steal a beta-max VCR so they can watch a tape they stole from one of the other main characters. They bring it back to their spaceship, but it won't play the tape, because it is ACTUALLY a VHS tape, but the technology is SO ancient that they don't know the difference. Spike, the main dude in the show, kicks the SHIT out of it until it's a smoking heap of refuse, and then says:

"Well, my SHIP works better when I kick it...?!?"

LOL!!! ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Notes from the Road 6:

I had just filled up my gas tank, during which I bought MYSELF an almond "Snickers" bar, a "5-Hour Energy", and a Capricorn Bic lighter, since mine has been missing since the weekend David Jacobs-Strain made me LOSE MY SHIT! Most of it LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. ;) (Literally, I have no ass left. I think I burned too many calories laughing and it ATE ITSELF.)

Then I saw this lil' beauty had pulled up to the gas pump behind my car:

I had actually JUST been complaining in my head about how much it cost to fill up my "gas guzzler" 95 Honda Accord, which gets about 30 miles per gallon. Yeah. I imagine that this thing probably gets, like, some decimal number like, 0.05 miles per gallon?

Oh, LORD. Thanks for showing me EXACTLY how utterly RIDICULOUS I AM.

God (a.k.a. "The Lord"): No problem. And yeah, you're RIDICULOUS. And opening yourself up for MASS ridicule...

Me: I know. :) At least I'm doing it ON PURPOSE, finally... Being ridiculed for doing things ON ACCIDENT is the WORST! ;)

Notes from the Road 5:

The only thing I actually NEED right now is a fresh start with, oh, EVERYONE IN MY LIFE!!! ;) So, I think I shall have one... For EACH of you, LOL!

Earlier today I was talking with my "Gweat fwiend in Wome", Megan (Monty Python's Life of Bwian, I mean Brian). I told her that I feel like everyone here deserves a candy bar. Again, this is only appropriate, as Halloween is fast approaching. I'm giving EACH of you a KING-SIZED "Snickers" bar just for hangin' in there... With me. :) I'm afraid that for now, these candy bars are only metaphorical, but if I am ever in a position to MAKE GOOD on this offer, you guys will be the FIRST ONES TO KNOW!!!

Megan: Yay!!!

;)

Notes from the Road 4:

The progression of my life according to a GREAT authority on the subject of "Life", Mr. Tom Petty, ladies and gentleman...

(Applause)

"Love is a Long Road" -->
"I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better [When You're Gone]" -->
"Running Down a Dream"

:)

Notes from the Road 3:

This drive goes through such BEAUTIFUL country that it's taking my BREATH away! *gasp* Help!

Just messin'. ;)

Notes from the Road 2:

Ugh, I was getting all soggy back there in Eugene... Though, coincidentally, it was probably the most unseasonably sunny and warm fall Eugene has EVER HAD!!! ;)
In any case, I'm "drying out" out in dry Eastern Oregon... Haha! Think I'm starting to "catch fire" again. *wink*

Notes from the Road 1:

Wow. Thank GOD I have finally escaped my loving family's boa constrictor-like embrace.

I ALSO finally understand that stupid phrase, "I can't hear myself think!" When I first got to my parent's house, I was pretty good at tuning them all out... ;) This became LESS true as time went on. My thoughts are so much more CLEAR now that I've put a little distance between me and them.

Sorry Dave, Mom, and Laura. 'Cause I KNOW you'll all read this; Yer just sneaky and clever that way. "Evil scientists", all of us! LOL. ANYWAY, YOU know I love you all to pieces... But to put together all MY pieces I just gotta get away from you guys for awhile!!! Before you drive Miss Daisy CRAZY... again. ;)


Sent from my iPhone

Acorn 1:

The AWESOME Tom Petty song, "Time to Move On" just came on. One of my ALL TIME FAVORITE SONGS... And PERFECT for this time in my life.

Sent from my iPhone

"ROCKIN' OUT" 2:

I LOVE the song "You Don't Kbow How It Feels" by Ton Petty.

I'm CRANKIN' UP that shit for ALL of us! :)

Sent from my iPhone

Truth 2:

For this moment, I'M FREE!!!

"ROCKIN' OUT" 1:

I'm listening to "Music From the O.C: Mix 1" and TOTALLY rockin' OUT!!! Some truly fab indie-rock songs, people!

If I had to say what the take-away message was from this TV show, I'd say it was this:
Life is really tough on ya sometimes... But it is ALSO full of really GREAT music and hot, HOT people!!!

LOL! ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Me 6:

I feel like sticking my head out the window like a dog... Or Ace Ventura?!?  LOL!  ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Truth 1:

Gahhhhhhh.. I LOVE WEEZER. <3

"God damn, this business is REALLY LAME."

Next song, "Screw this crap, I've HAD IT... (I've had it!!!)"

I should have been listening to this stuff WAY MORE a couplea months ago! ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Me 5:

Oh my F-ING God! I am a HAPPY girl right now. Juan Carlos, you remember this place?!? You remember this FOOD?!? ;D

Harbick's Country Store, up the McKenzie!

Me 4:

ACK! Jason did to me what I DID to OTHER PEOPLE!!! Yikes.

Song = Weezer: "Getchoo"

EXCEPT for one CLEAR difference: I DON'T want you back... I just want my stuff back. And maybe some of yours, too. LOL!!! Just kidding! Mostly... ;)

Sent from my iPhone

Me 3:

Oh, "Weezer"... HOW I LOVE YOU! But, unfortunately, I am NOT "Tired of Sex"!!! LOL! *wink*

Sent from my iPhone

Me 2:

Getting away from a HUGE # of unhealthy distractions! :D

Theme of the Day: Weezer

Listening to one of my FAVORITE CDs of ALL TIME, Weezer's Pinkerton + driving up the McKenzie, away from my lovable yet COMPLETELY dysfunctional family =

:| --> :) --> ;D

Sent from my iPhone

Me 1:

This situation calls for a cigarette and chocolate milk... Before I lose my mind. AGAIN. ;)

Can I get some Rufus Wainwright up in here?

Song = "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk", from the album "Poses"

Eve 1:

Eve: I haven't even been called into existence yet... SO HOW CAN I POSSIBLY OWN SO MUCH CRAP?!? Ahhhhhhhhhh...!!!

Sent from my iPhone

19OCT2011

Ugh!!! Still looking for ALL MY SHIT @ my 'rents (thanks, Joanna Fur-Googley)! Ugh again. Turns out I got A WHOLE LOTTA SHIT to deal with. ;)

Sent from my iPhone

"ROCKIN' OUT" 1:

I know it's a little late to be "rockin' out", but as I get ready for bed tonight, I'm listening to Meredith Brooks' song, "B.I.T.C.H.":



-----

"I'm a bitch, I'm a tease / I'm a goddess on my knees / When you hurt, when you suffer / I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived / Can't say I'm not alive / You know I wouldn't want it any other way!"

Truth 1:

Trying to find candy in my hippie mother's house is like a sad version of "Where's Waldo?".

;)

Me 5:

Gaaaaahhh!!! I love this movie! If there's anything BETTER than being an angry, (only very slightly) vengeful female and watching "Kill Bill", I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS! ;D

I LOVE the scene where O-Ren Ishii has just taken head of "The Council", and Boss Tanaka calls her a "Chinese Jap-American half-breed bitch", after which she runs across the table and cuts off his head! Heh.

To all of those lovely but misguided people in my life, who keep trying (accidentally) to break my spirit, I quote O-Ren Ishii:

"Now if ANY of you sons o' bitches... got ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME!!!

-----

"Off with [his] head!" - The "Queen of Hearts", a character from "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland", by writer and mathematician Lewis Carroll.

-----

Dr. Sparklepants McGee: "Oh, dear, she looks quite unstable, doesn't she?!? Well, 'be cool', people, it's just an act."

;)

Me 4:

Before I came home to Eugene, I spent a fair bit of time with my Fort Collins crew watching the Baz Luhrmann version of "Romeo + Juliet".

One of the things I hate MOST about William Shakespeare's play is that just as Juliet was coming back to life, Romeo decided to DRINK THE POISON INSTEAD OF WAIT FOR HER to raise her hand to his face and show him that SHE'S NOT DEAD!

This scene somehow reminds me of the "Kill Bill, Vol. 1" scene where Beatrix Kiddo is laying in the backseat of the "Pussy Wagon" she stole from Buck, the intensive-care nurse.

Me 3:

My whole battle, versus my family, certain of my peers, and my superiors, can only be defined using the following quote. The source is, again, the movie "Kill Bill Vol. 1", the fourth film by Quentin Tarantino:

[Hatori Hanzo]: (in Japanese )
"For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat, the vanquishing of thine enemny can be the Warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddah himself. This truth lies at the heart of combat."


Dr. Sparklepanks McGee: I was WONDERING when you'd bring me back into the picture!!! Anywhoo, I wonder what THIS indicates about your psyche! Let's all BRAINSTORM, shall we?!?

;)

Me 2:

Ugh, getting all of my stuff ready to go back to Colorado tomorrow = an EPIC chore.

Trying to decide what I need to take and what I don't... I feel like Black Mamba in the "Kill Bill" series; Writing up my "Death List Five" on an airplane. ;)

Now WHERE is that katana of mine?!? Hmmm... oh, yeah, that's DAVE'S... I guess it's not a Hatori Hanzo sword, either...
*wink wink*

-----

[Beatrix Kiddo]:
"It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack, not rationality."

Theme of the Day: Kill Bill Vol. 1

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
-Old klingon proverb

Song: "Bang Bang" - Nancy Sinatra

Me 1:

Waking up, I was SUPER groggy this morning for no good reason other than I missed a tiny bit of sleep last night (;), but managed to put on the SWEET David Jacobs-Strain album entitled "Terraplane Angel" that he gave to me and the members of my immediate family before leaving to play the East-coast circuit for a month or more.

The first song? A rockin' little number called "Hurricane Railroad". Have I played this one for you guys, before?!? I don't think so. I couldn't find the album version, but this is the NEXT BEST THING! :)




"You're a heart breaker / with a gypsy soul / You're a KILLER / but you don't know!"

Mwahahaha!!! (Evil Halloween laugh). I LOVE "THEME SONGS"!! ;)

Eve 1:

Eve: I spy, with my little eyes... a MAN!!! Whoo hoo!!! Holy HOTNESS!

God: I hope you like the man I made you, Eve. That was some HARD WORK! Phew. (Lies down)

18OCT2011

I was supposed to leave for Fort Collins today, but my sweet, CRAZY family decided to keep me for another day!?!

BOOOOO...!!!

Perhaps they are preparing for Halloween early this year, by scaring the SHIT out of me!!! Early, this time. ;) LOL!

(From Left): Dave, my Mom, and Laura?!? Hahaha!

GENESIS, Chapter 2: Part 3

15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

...

Me 7:

“What is this thing that happens with age? Why does everyone want to pervert love and suck it bone dry of all its glory? Why do you bother to call it love anymore?”
- Don Juan DeMarco (Johnny Depp)

-----

Before I got into bed, I made sure to go outside and look at the stars. They are ALL out tonight, since, for SOME WEIRD REASON, all of us in Eugene got an absolutely BEAUTIFUL fall "bluebird" day beginning at 12:00pm today.

Anyway, I sang the old kid's song, "Starlight, Starbright" to myself, as I made wishes on ALL of the stars! Who knows if they'll come true, but "I will hold on hope" for ALL of us, guys. :) I'll let you all KNOW how that works out. "Goodnight, Moon!" *) [a sickle moon and a star]

Me 6:

One more quote from "Don Juan DeMarco"...

At the end of the movie, Dr. Mickler (Marlon Brando) rescues Johnny Depp's character from the mental institution after he is HEAVILY drugged into telling "the truth", or at least, the truth the doctors want to HEAR, and gives him back his mask and silly-awesome outfit. Dr. Mickler, his wife, Marilyn (played by a BEAUTIFUL, aging Faye Dunaway) and Don Juan then fly to the tropics (to an undisclosed location), where the woman of his dreams is waiting for him. Dr. Mickler has the following commentary on the situation:

[Dr. Mickler]:
"I am Jack Mickler. I am the world's GREATEST psychiatrist.
I must report, however, that the last patient I ever treated… the great lover, Don Juan DeMarco, suffered from a romanticism which was completely incurable.
And, even worse, completely contagious..."

Me 5:

“There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.”
-Don Juan DeMarco (Johnny Depp)

-----

On the way home from our VERY proper, VERY adult "errands", I made me Ma stop as we drove past the old "Rest Haven" graveyard near our house... such GORGEOUS maple trees! Okay, biology experts, I realize that these are NON-native trees, but they aren't "a plague on BOTH your houses!" here in Eugene, like they are in Missoula, Montana. ;)

I assume these are Norway Maples, but again, am too lazy to confirm my suspicions. Heh! HOWEVER, they are BEAUTIFUL regardless of their species:

"ROCKIN' OUT" 1:

I'm ROCKIN' OUT to Oasis's "She's Electric"!!! :) Yet another band that I listened to a TON back in middle school. I remember spending my whole, MEASLY allowance (*wink* to Mom) on a subscription to BMG music so that I could buy CDs in 8th grade... LOL! Even back then, I KNEW that artists should be compensated for their music! I didn't really like mix tapes, unless they were from the radio, which seemed like neutral territory. ;)

ANYWAY, this song RAWKS! A few choice lyrics:

-----

"She's electric
She's in a family FULL of eccentrics
She done things I never expected
And I need more time
...
And I want you to know
I've got my mind made up now
But I need more time
And I want you to say
Do you know what I'm saying?
But I need more (time....)
Coz I'll be you and you'll be me
There's lots and lots for us to see
There's lots and lots for us to do
She is electric, can I be electric too?"

-----

A crappy home-made music video for this song, which nonetheless gets the point accross:




Oh, and I LOVE that this song has, like, 3 CHORDS. LOL. For someone like me with absolutely NO TALENT at playing the guitar, this is a GOOD THING. *wink*

Acorn 1:

Ah HAH! I heard back from Sacred Heart Medical Center that the level of Depakote (one of two medications that I'm currently taking) is at a SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER LEVEL in my blood than what their intention was! LOL!!! Ah, well. Medication has still not cured me of my "ridiculous obsession with love." (Moulin Rouge, directed by the EPICALLY talented Baz Luhrmann)

Ahhh... I am forcibly reminded of an awesome, BEAUTIFUL, RIDICULOUSLY romantic comedy starring (none other than) Johnny Depp. Okay, yeah. I admit it... He's HOT. Anywhoo, the movie I'm thinking of is "Don Juan DeMarco", in which Johnny Depp's character, Don Juan, is committed to a psychiatric hospital after a desperate attempt to gain publicity via a dramatic and public (and also completely FASLE) threat to commit suicide. The young man is UTTERLY CONVINCED that he IS Don Juan DeMarco from Tirso de Molina's play. Dr. Mickler, played by an old, FAT Marlon Brando, is a veteran psychologist, and talks Don Juan down from his proverbial ledge, and THEN fights to be assigned this case, despite the fact that he is retiring in less than a week. The institution is convinced that he's delusional (plus a laundry list of other things), and Johnny Depp's character is convinced that he's the greatest lover of all time. The interactions between the two are PRICELESS:

[DR. MICKLER]:
I have some pills here, and I’d like you to take them.
I think they’ll help.

[DON JUAN]:
Pills to stop delusions? Then I am afraid we must
take these pills together, because you are severely
deluded.


[DR. MICKLER]:
What delusions have I got?

[DON JUAN]:
This fantasy that you are some "Dr. Mickler".
I am very disappointed in you, Don Octavio.

[DR. MICKLER]:
Here’s the drill. They can make you take the
medication. That’s state law. You’re on what
they call a 10-day paper, and for those ten days
they can do whatever they think is appropriate.

[DON JUAN]:
I am not deluded. I am Don Juan, and if you will
not medicate me for these ten days, I will prove it
to you.

[DR. MICKLER]:
What if I don’t believe you’re Don Juan?

[DON JUAN]:
Then I will take your medication, and you
may commit me for as long as you like.
Do we have an agreement? Do I have
these ten days to tell you my story?

[DR. MICKLER]:
OK.

-----

While I have no such luxury as a "Dr. Mickler", doctors can prescribe me whatever medications they see fit. And yet, one truth remains: MY HAPPINESS CANNOT BE DRUGGED OUT OF ME! :) So... "What's up, Doc(s)?!?" (munches down a carrot like Bugs Bunny) ;)

Me 4:

After my blood got stolen, me Ma and I stopped by "Sweet Life Patisserie". Yet ANOTHER place where you can lose your ASS over delicious food! ;) We bought 2 caramel-chocolate-turtle thingies, 4 petit fours, and 2 crème brules. YUM!!!

Truth 1:

The first of our errands? I had to stop by a Sacred Heart auxillary laboratory to get a blood test so that they and I could determine the level of medication in my bloodstream. Suck. The lady who took the sample was really nice and quite good at her job, but they still TOOK my blood... so I took a magazine from the lobby. LOL! I'm SERIOUSLY not a klepto, people, but I DO take magazines sometimes from doctor's offices, only because I get busy reading them and then hate to put them down. Sometimes I do it on ACCIDENT, but... yeah. Not today.


In my (sort of, not really?) defense, it was a shitty, "Good Housekeeping" type magazine, anyway. So, lesson learned, people. You take my blood, I take your magazine. ;D

Me 3:

Once I got back from hangin' out with a buddy o' mine this morning, my Mom and I headed out into the world to run "errands". I love how adult that sounds: "running errands". You don't really have to make any explanation other than that, but I shall explain anyway... for no good reason. ;)

-----

From one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIES, "The Princess Bride"; book AND screenplay written by William Goldman:

[Westley]: Who are you? Are we enemies? Where's Buttercup?

[Inigo Montoya]: Let me explain. No, there is TOO MUCH. Let me SUM UP.
Buttercup is marry Humperdink in little less then half an hour so all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape, after I kill count Rugen.

[Westley]: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dally.

[Fezzik]: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful!

[Westley]: I've always been a quick healer.

;)

Westley and Inigo Montoya duel earlier in the movie, before they decide to join forces.

Me 2:

Earlier this morning, I had coffee and pastries with my GOOD FRIEND Will. :) We went to "Espresso Roma" first, for the food and drinks, and then roamed around 13th Street near the University of Oregon campus.

We talked about brains (our own AND other people's), the sea, being given second chances in life, and, again, the pursuit of happiness.

Me 1:

Songs for right now:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers: "Under the Bridge"

-----

AND

"Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats

Sent from my iPhone

Eve 1:

Eve: So... It began in Africa?!?

God: Too right.


-----

The Chemical Brothers - "It Began in Africa"

17OCT2011

I bounced up outta bed again at around 8:00am this morning... My first thought was THIS: "I'm a stupid fucking CAT!" ;D

Thank you to Keelan and Megan, one of my favorite "Dynamic Duos", for first introducing me to this video back when I was moping around their apartment a few months ago. LOL, Keelan... you knew EXACTLY how to handle that situation! No joke. Girl feeling sad?!? Show her some weird shit on the internet! ;) Kudos to you, Keelan.




You guys are ALL going to have this stuck in your heads now!!! Like me! Bwahaha. ;)

GENESIS, Chapter 2: Part 2

9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

10 And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

11 The name of the first is Pison: that it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

12 And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13 And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.

14 And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

Me 7:

Gaaaahhhh... I've been chatting with Will, DJS, Nusharin, and a MILLION other cool people... And STILL, I haven't had enough. It's just not enough!!! Nowhere NEAR enough. :)

My thoughts are racing a mile a minute. Not in a bad way, but STILL. And SO, as Erin, Josh, and I used to say in "THE JOHNSON UNIT", "It's time for night-time meds!" ;) *laughs*

-----
Going to sleep watching re-runs of "The Big Bang Theory", which I LOVE!!! AND, haven't had time to watch in the LONGEST TIME. It is an utterly PERFECT portrayal of AWESOME geeks. :)

The episode I'm watching is called "The Wildebeest Implementation", Season 4, Episode 22,

Shoes (in Penny's voice): "But Penny! You look so GOOD in us!"
Penny [Kaley Cuoco]: "DAMNIT, the shoes are RIGHT!!!"

Sheldon [Jim Parsons]: "As a mental exercise, I invite you to figure out why the two of us can't play three-person chess."
((Author's note: At the end of the show, three of the guys DO try their best to play three-person chess!!! Haha!))

Raj Koothrappali [Kunal Nayyar]: "Kind of like how I'm the only one who will have sex with me..."
-----

Hahaha! Ahhh, boys... and girls... together... and apart. *wink*

"ROCKIN' OUT" 2:

To Blackstreet's "No Diggity", featuring Dr. Dre, who I wrote about yesterday, and Queen Pen, whom I've always, ALWAYS loved because of THIS SONG!

Queen Pen: "Please excuse if I come across rude / That's just ME / And that's how a playa's gotta BE."



"No Diggity, No DOUBT. UHHH."

Yeah. I'm gonna be a super-cheesy lower-middle class white girl on this one, and STILL say, "Shit, son." This is the ORIGINAL version I listened to as a cool, UN-COOL middle-schooler with my best friends Meg, Megan, and Lea. HELLS yeah!!! As I always suspected, we WERE (ACTUALLY) COOL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! Blackstreet, Nirvana, Sublime, Weezer, and the Foo Fighters are the ONLY reasons that I'm still here to tell the tale... LOL!!! ;) Oh, and the aforementioned girls (now grown-ass women, unlike moi! Hehe).

---

Not only does this song have me ROCKIN' OUT, but it has me DANCIN'... I just wish I could dance with ALL YA'LL RIGHT NOW! :D

Acorn 2:

AGAIN, from my friend Jeremy's Facebook page:

Have I NOT BEEN TALKING ABOUT BLACKSTREET for, what, DAYS NOW?!? :D Yeah. Well, if not, in my HEAD I have been, LOL! Knew I loved these guys... Sexy as hell. :)

---

Oh, and ALSO, thanks to this awesome dude's posts, I FINALLY FIGURED OUT why TONS o' people @ the Eugene "Occupy" protest were wearing "V for Vendetta" masks... LOL. Acorns kept HITTIN' me on the head, and I was, like, "OUCH." Thanks, dude. My brain has been aching over that one. ;)