21OCT2011

Okay, I’ll admit it. I woke up this morning feeling pretty damned FOOLISH. ;) Read the following to understand WHY:

In retrospect, self, seriously. You make a good friend at a BEHAVIORAL HEALTH CENTER, but then, instead of just keeping your distance and staying good buddies, you say:
"Oh, hey, you're living with your parents and have a teensy bit of an anger management problem. Perhaps you need to come up to Fort Collins to get away from three guys who want to kill you with multiple baseball bats (I’m assuming no more than three, hopefully?). No problem, dude! I am finally putting my life back together after a gigantic CRASH (with no “insurance”, hehe), so I shall help YOU like the ones I love are helping ME! I shall pay back the love the people in my life have (somehow) shown ME, to YOU! "I LOVE YOU, Man!!!", in the style of Wayne’s World. *wink*

Despite this lapse in judgment, things were (again, SOMEHOW) going great. Ray, being a 21 YEAR-OLD BOY, naturally had absolutely NO sense of self preservation and was always finding high things to jump off of for no reason, attempting to out-drink vodka with one of our other neighbors, an old RUSSIAN guy who probably puts that shit on his CEREAL in the morning, and generally and genuinely "accidentally" doing things that could get him killed, maimed, or otherwise horribly disfigured, for NO REASON AT ALL.

BUT THEN, I would be able to step in, and say some variation of the phrase, "RAY, YOU'RE BEING STUPID AGAIN!!!" Which is a horribly antagonistic thing to say, but was nonetheless SHOCKINGLY effective. It was like being either a parent or babysitter to Calvin from the epic newspaper comic “Calvin and Hobbes”, except most of the time, I wouldn't forcibly STOP him like a “responsible adult figure” would… Instead, I’d just follow him around laughing and taking pictures. Oh yeah, and then I'd post the evidence of his innocent idiocy on the internet. And I've been trying to convince people that I'm a wonderful babysitter? Sh-chnikey. Yeah. I'm GREAT at not swearing around kids, too. ;)

So, now that you, Ray, are much more stable than you’ve ever been before, I shall leave you, a 21 year-old BOY, ALONE and UNSUPERVISED in MY apartment for almost a MONTH AND A HALF, and then trust you to work super-duper hard and pay one month’s rent for me, so that I can then pay you back when I return to Fort Collins…

Oops.